How to Maintain an LDR

Part of my crazy yet wonderful life is maintaining a long-distance relationship. He is 8 hours away working as an intern at Lake Ann Camp, and here I am finishing my last year of college at Cedarville University. If we’re lucky, we see each other once a month. It’s a bittersweet deal for both of us.

On one hand, not having each other around 24/7 is helpful for the schedules we have to maintain. I can do my thing here and he can do his thing there without us having to shove date nights and plans into our already overflowing planners. We support each other and grow in our relationship through the phone, and it can be convenient with such hectic lifestyles.

But it’s definitely not easy, and Lord knows I would jump on the opportunity for us to be in the same place regardless of how my schedule would need to shift. So many times I wish he was beside me to experience life with me. Or I wish I could be with him to watch his leadership grow in the internship and support him at camp. We have to somehow bridge the gap with words that can never quite sum up exactly what it’s like to live without each other in two separate worlds.

But we make it work. By God’s grace, we make it work, because we love each other unconditionally. We understand that being physically together isn’t necessary for a healthy relationship—one that honors God and shows care and support for each other.

Here are the Top 5 Ways , according to my experience, to maintain a healthy LDR:

• Tell each other what you need: Some people only want a phone call at night, others need to text throughout the day, and some are ok with just a Skype date once a week. Tell each other how much communication you need to maintain the relationship and feel secure in it.

• Do things together: Pick a book you can both read at the same time so you can discuss it together. Set your alarm at the same time every morning and call each other before starting the day. Work through the same devotion book or chapters of the Bible together so you can challenge each other spiritually. Pick something that sparks thought and conversation.

• Pray for each other: This is key. Always ask how you can pray for each other and commit to doing it throughout the day. Then you aren’t thinking about how much you miss them but instead lifting them and their struggles up to God.

• Take advantage of the time apart: While it’s difficult to be apart, it has its benefits. You can spend more time with your friends and family, focus on your schoolwork or career, and most of all get to know each other without the physical aspect. Sometimes the physical stuff gets in the way of really connecting personality-wise, so spend some time on the phone playing 20 questions and really find out who the other person is.

• Stay positive: Complaining about the distance won’t make the miles disappear and won’t help your conversations or relationship growth. Focus on how blessed you are to have found one another and take this opportunity to be creative about you how get to know each other and spend your time together. It will strengthen your relationship and, since time flies when you’re having fun, you two will be back together in no time.